“But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.“
I’m not proud to say I’ve dealt with my fair share of jealousy. I’ve envied what other people have, whether a talent, a career opportunity, or a romantic relationship. And I also know what it’s like to try to pretend I haven’t felt it. I may have fooled other people at those moments, but not myself.
God was never fooled, either. As we know, He looks at the heart, and mine was full of selfish ambition and a sense of entitlement. He saw how much I clung to the frustration and anger, as if that would motivate me to try harder to get those things I wanted – in my own strength, of course.
A lot of those episodes happened before I became a believer. But, even since I’ve accepted Christ, these feelings have risen up in my heart from time to time. I’m better now at recognizing jealousy for what it is though, and being honest about it with myself and God. And the more I trust in God’s Will for me and desire to please Him, the less I look around at other people.
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