As my husband and I shared a little time at the breakfast table this morning, I asked him for prayer. What began as a quick request turned into an emotional moment as I poured out some of what was stored up in my heart. I’m grateful he was willing to not only listen, but respond with grace.
My starting point was asking if he would be okay with me buying cookies for Christmas Eve this year instead of baking them. Boy, was that question hard for me to say out loud! Baking is one of my favorite ways to usher in the holiday season. But my joints just can’t handle stirring and all the other movements involved. Being stubborn and independent, I’ve tried several times and paid dearly for it.
My husband’s honest answer was that he’d prefer no cookies to store bought. I totally understood his view, and was kind of relieved to hear it. But even so, I felt a twinge of sadness – a feeling that’s become all too familiar over the last year or so.
I realized that cookies were not the only Christmas tradition that was shaping up differently this season. Stockings will be smaller, as will our tree. We’ve been to busy to pull out the box of decorations yet. And since the kids are older, there’s less excitement in the air. All those are part of a natural progression, I guess. But each one feels like a loss to me.
I came across a great article this morning by Lisabeth Saunders Medlock, PHD, that talks about accepting change. In it, she shares her own extremely challenging experience. Here’s one point she made: “It’s natural to have feelings of sadness, to grieve over the loss of something, to feel angry about your situation, or to place blame. You have permission to feel that way, but only for moments.”
Those words really resonated with me, because I can easily get stuck. Grieving is definitely part of the process of accepting change, but it’s only one the first steps. I have to move on to look at the present realistically, and the future hopefully. I can’t do that on my own, though – my mind and will are too weak.
Thankfully, I have a God who knows each change I face, and who wants to help me navigate them. The Apostle Paul called Him “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort…” From his early years as a Pharisee to his missionary trips, Paul experienced change on a daily basis, and not always for the good. But God was always faithful to pick Paul up and lead him forward.
I take great encouragement from Paul’s story, because it reminds me that change can lead to really positive things. So while my family’s Christmas traditions are shifting away from the expected, I’ll try to concentrate less on what I’m losing, and more on anticipating what new blessings will come. ‘Cause God is always good!